i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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