my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
