there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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