Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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