she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize