He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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