Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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