So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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