considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
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Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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