i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
