not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
