If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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