I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
