He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
