Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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