were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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