I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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