Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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