Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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