Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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