she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
