My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
