How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
