So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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