Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just pee around me
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
