Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
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