Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize