you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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