were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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