I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
