i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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