Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
