Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The power of my boobs compel you
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
