she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
