is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
