He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize