So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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