I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize