maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
