craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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