Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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