guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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