beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize