Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
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Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
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I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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