We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
