people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Enjoy the penises
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
