I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
