never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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