I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
