apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
