Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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