I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
