he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
